My Friends "Hate" Me

I went grocery shopping with my friend the other day. This is nothing new. She goes shopping with me frequently because my husband works on the weekends and I like the company. Every week I get roughly the same items, a cart full of fresh fruits and veggies and some meats. She also has her usual, she gets an iced mocha with extra chocolate syrup. The topic of my new, smaller, work clothes came up. She told me that a mutual friend of ours asked why I was selling a bunch of my old, larger, work clothes and she told her that I needed a smaller size. That is when she stated, "We both 'hate' you for being able to lose weight. You make it look so easy." I looked up at her with a look of shock on my face.

Now this friend, is overweight. She frequently complains about her weight and how all she wants to do is lose it, but when push comes to shove she does not make healthy choices. She continues to drink her calories in Dr. Pepper and fancy coffees and eat fast food instead of healthier options. My gut instinct told me to make a horrible comment about her choices, but I stopped myself.

So, why do people who were formally fat fall so easily into fat shaming? We were there at one time. We know how bad those words can hurt. WHY? My gut tells me it is because we do not want to be that person again. We do not want to be big again. So by putting others down, we are telling ourself that we will not go back down that road. Or maybe, it is because we were told those horrible things so many times we do not even think about it. We are just the sender instead of the receiver.  Or hell, maybe it is because we have told ourself those things so many times the words just slip out.  I do not know the answer. I have a couple stories about fat shaming that happened to me and I will share those stories at a later date.

For today, I will leave it there. I will say that I will make a conscious effort to not fat shame anyone, but my friends "hate" me. Good information to know.