Happy 4th of July! I hope everyone is having a safe and fun day!
Yesterday I was forced to go clothes shopping. In a few short weeks we are going on vacation to a water park and surprise, my swimming suit does not fit. FML. Swimming suit shopping is sheer torture for a former fat girl. I want to rock a two piece. I am now a healthy weight, I should be able to... WRONG. I put on several swimsuits and all I see is fat. All I see is how big I was, not the size I am now. I know this is not unique to me, because I have another not so fat friend who used to be overweight himself. We had a conversation about how he cannot see the weight he has lost either. He still feels like that fat guy too. Anyways, back to it.
When I was heavy, I went to the store and grabbed the first suit that looked like it would fit. I did not try it on, I did not care about color. It was something I knew I would hate wearing, and would not wear very often.
Yesterday, I tried on so many suits and I still came home with nothing. It was torture. One had too small of a top. One had a well fitting top but the bottom was way too big. The other, oh goodness gracious left nothing to the imagination. Even being a healthy weight, you cannot spill out of the top of a swimming suit. It looks bad. All the while, I was pointing out every single imperfection I saw. What the heck, I never did this as a fat girl. Yes, I hated myself and how I looked, but I did not stand in front of a mirror and jiggle my stomach or poke at my thighs. As a fat girl I avoided mirrors all together. I thought for sure once I was a healthy weight I would be happy. I would be excited to look in a mirror and admire my body...I wish.
Long story short, I did not find a suit yesterday. I went to nearly every shop in town, living in a small town sucks. I believe there are two or three more places I can go. I guess I know what I am doing tomorrow! Wish me luck.
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